Really?

You obviously have a reason, yet you don't have the guts to say anything. That's weak. Now, everything that came out of your mouth is a lie. At least I don't have to deal with that. I could understand if I did something wrong, but we both know that isn't the case. Grow up. Speak up. Say what you need to . Say something. Saying nothing and sweeping it under the rug isn't solving anything. In fact, it's making it worse. I'll be cool in a day or so, but for now I'm going to stay mad.

Pretty Heavy Song..............

"You say you always treat people like you like to be
I guess you love being hated for your sexuality
You love when people put words in your mouth
'Bout what you believe, make you sound like a freak

'Cause if you really believe what you say you believe
You wouldn't be so damn reckless with the words you speak
Wouldn't silently conceal when the liars speak
Denyin' all the dyin' of the remedy

Tell me, brother, what matters more to you?
Tell me, sister, what matters more to you?

If I can tell what's in your heart by what comes out of your mouth
Then it sure looks to me like being straight is all it's about
It looks like being hated for all the wrong things
Like chasin' the wind while the pendulum swings

'Cause we can talk and debate until we're blue in the face
About the language and tradition that he's comin' to save
Meanwhile we sit just like we don't give a shit
About 50,000 people who are dyin' today

Tell me, brother, what matters more to you?
Tell me, sister, what matters more to you? "

I have to say the honesty in this song is incredible. Here is guy who is so passionate about what he believes, that he has totally thrown caution to the wind! I wish I took my faith that seriously everyday!

This story really saddend me.....

I just read an article about a church here in Florida that put a trespassing warrant on one of its members and his wife. The guy posted a criticism of the church's pastor on his anonymous blog. I think we should be far less concerned with what people are blogging about us and far more concerned with sharing the gospel of Christ to a dying and hurting world. I think this world would be a better place if churches stopped trying to build $30 million childrens facilities and instead sent teams of willing servants to share the story of salvation and redemption to those who will not get hear it otherwise.

Some lyrics I'm toying with........

Are we lost, or simply indifferent
Have we lost hope, or just the will to fight


That's really all I have right now. I'm actually looking at the paper right now and fully intend on going somewhere with it. The first line is something that is really resonating inside of me right now. I don't think we are " lost ". I think we just don't care anymore. We want to see people come to know The Father, yet all we seem to be doing is whatever doesn't make us feel or look bad.

I want to be inspired

I want You to inspire me. I want to stop living in my selfish world of nothingness. I want to sing. I want to dance. I want Your glory fill me and be with me all of my days. Come to me now. Wrap Your arms around me and please don't ever let me go.

You are great. You are mighty. Im so very unworthy, yet you continually love me.
For that reason alone I am inspired. Inspired to live my life for no one but You.

Where I am headed

I really do not know. I am in a place where I don't really understand what is going on. It isn't an identity crisis or questioning of faith. I am just wondering what the next move is? God has shown me some great things recently and He is continually revealing Hiself to me. What is weird though is that I thought I knew where to go and what to do, but I was wrong. Maybe what's going on is that He is saying " ok, you think you have it all figured out? Watch this!" He hasn't thrown me a "curveball" what He is throwing my is the banned from baseball Screwball. I don't know what to do, but this is making me seek and rely on Him more, which can't be bad.

What I find amazing........

is that mornings where I've slept nine or more hours, I find it more difficult to wake up. This morning, after only sleeping for a solid five hours, I was up and completely ready in like 15 minutes( I showered at 1am). This is one of those mysteries in this life that I guess I'll never quite understand. If anyone out there has any thoughts on this please let me know.


Enjoy your Sunday-Eric

The Beauty in........

brokenness is something that cannot be fully described with words. When we get to that point where we've hit bottom.Where we feel so cracked and dried up.Where we can't go any further because we have gotten so far from the One who created us, there is magnificent beauty in our pain and anguish. The One who created us and everything around is there.Reaching down from Heaven saying"Take My hand, let me guide you,love you, and dust you off ". It is truely a beautiful thing to feel. I was at my lowest. I didn't care what I did or how it effected anyone. I was hurt. I felt that God had taken so much from me. I was running so far from what I knew was right. I ran until there was nothing to run to.I was so tired of being in pain and wondering why all the time. I was tired of killing myself slowly each and everyday. I felt there was not much else to live for and then my eyes were opened. Someone close to me that I had abandoned walked back into my life. God spoke so loudly to me through him.He began to show me that He knew I was hurting and that all He wanted from me was to run TO Him not away.That in His arms was peace,love,wisdom,guidance,mercy and grace you can't begin to descirbe.Looking back now, I clearly see the beauty in my desperation and brokenness. I found that my first love was just wanting me to let Him love me.

"Lean not on your own understanding"

That quote has really been resonating inside of me lately. We may not understand everything that happens to us in this life, and that is more than ok. There is beauty in our wondering,and confusion. God is right there, He hasn't left. He wants us to give up, so to speak. He wants our lives. He wants us to let Him live within us, He wants to guide,and to love us. He wants us to simply say" Here is my life Lord, do with it what You will". We may not fully understand why He sends us places or why he even takes us out of places. He just wants us to walk with Him everyday and to trust that what He wants for us is for His good and for His glory.

A new post......

Being here away from home and the other things that i had grown accustomed to, i've begun to learn some things

1) i'm not as close to my Savior as i thought i was. restoring that relationship is a beautiful and difficult journey all the same. it really is a hard thing to let go of our pride and understand giving our life to God means it is not ours to live anymore.

2)what i think the plan for my life is, may not actually be it. for all i know i could end up a librarian.i know i have a future, i know i must be prepared for it , but i dont know what all it entails.

3)the food here in the cafeteria at the baptist college of florida isnt as good as you might think

4) the relationships i have with those closest to me require efforts on my end that some would deem uncomfortable, but completely necessary in order to have a "relationship"